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When the Hen Crows and the Rooster Keeps Quiet
December 15, 2016

When the Hen Crows and the Rooster Keeps Quiet

by Steven

Growing up in Kampung (small village) in the north of Singapore, I have observed that almost every family in the village owned some rooster and hens in their plot.

The red single comb on its head distinctively differentiates the rooster from the hen. I remember observing that the rooster moved around majestically and most of the times followed by a hen and some chicken, chipping as they follow the cock.

The role of the rooster and hen seemed simple enough to me as a child. Every morning when the sun rose, the rooster crowed. I don't remember it ever failing to do so. It was created (or designed) to do that and it did the task dutifully.

As for the hen, it laid eggs.

Rooster crows, hen chips and lays eggs - this was, is and will always be the order. They were created to fulfill those roles.

What will happen if the hen begins to crow and the rooster keeps quiet?

Could it be then the hens will demand their rights (hey, I can crow too) and the cocks will be demoralized (you are taking over my job). Should that really happen, we may not have any more omelette for breakfast.

I have just described the implications of a role reversal between a rooster and a hen. Similarly, when a role reversal happens in a marital relationship, I am certain that there will be problems for the couple and the family.

Before I go on, let me clarify that I am not demeaning the role, capability, capacity and intelligence of my wife and the female species.

Back to the story, it is as if to say that on occasions when the rooster forgets to crow at the appointed time, the hen chips her advice and sets him right. The rooster crows. And it continues to walk along majestically, as if he never failed his responsibility.

The hen does not take over and crow. She merely stands by her rooster and makes him look good.

Herein lies the essence of my sharing - Michelle helps me to fulfill the role that my Creator designed me for. In doing so, she fulfills the role that He has designed her for too. Together as a couple, we fulfill our roles harmoniously and effectively.

The most important role for me as her husband is to lead. Michelle's most crucial role is to advice and support me and to stand by me even when I make a wrong decisions. We are not perfect and are constantly working on making our relationship better. Put simply, there were and will be occasions when we are tempted to have our roles reversed. Some of these will be over simple issues, and others over serious ones. The important thing is how we manage such situations.

This is how Michelle and I have learned to manage our roles over the years; she does her best to help me make right decisions as the head and leader of the family. Even when I make a mistake, she stands by me without shooting me for not listening to her. As for me, I have learned to respect her advice and listen to her before making a decision.

We are careful not to allow our roles to reverse.