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How to Make Big Family Decisions...Together (Part One)
March 27, 2017




What does your family do when faced with a truly big decision? Moving, schooling, jobs…all of these are about decisions we make as a family. And those decisions can help build up our family…or tear it down.

How does your family make big decisions? Here are three time tested ‘Rules of the Road’ for making good family decisions…together:

1. Sit down. Sit down privately with your spouse first to discuss together the decision to be made. Maybe go to a nice dinner together…or just set aside a few hours by yourselves alone to really talk. What are the options? What are the pro’s and con’s for each option? Really talk it through. These big decisions are critical to your family’s future…it make sense to take time to discuss the options in detail

2. Seek. Seek high quality outside counsel on the decision you will be making. Do you have close friends who know and love your family? Spend some time with them to explain the situation and get their counsel. They might have a new perspective or directly relevant experience that can really help. The Bible wisely teaches us, “In the counsel of good advisors there is great wisdom.” Talk with your closest friends, your Pastor or Priest or Teacher. Get their wise input on the decision. It could be super helpful.

3. Involve. Get your children involved in the decision. Obviously the older your kids are, the more they can bring to the discussion. But even children as young as five can have a role. This serves three important purposes: (1) it helps the kids to know that they are an important part of the family and that their opinion matters, (2) it helps prepare them for any potential changes the decision might bring to the family (like moving to a new city or going to a new school), (3) it teaches the children how good families make wise decisions…something they will remember for their own families. And of course sometimes children can have great insights and wisdom for us. So listen carefully!!

I sincerely believe prayer is a key success factor in any decision making process. We simply cannot (and do not) know the future. But God does. So it only make sense to ask for His wisdom and insights as you consider the various options. The very first Bible verse that I ever memorized as a new Christian way back in college was Proverbs 16:3: “COMMIT YOUR WAY (ALSO TRANSLATED AS YOUR FUTURE OR YOUR PLANS)  TO THE LORD, AND HE WILL SHOW YOU THE PATH.” Over the past 35 years that promise has always proved true. I commend it to your attention the next time you have a big decision to make.

Our family has just gone through a major decision process about a potential move to Dallas, Texas. In the end, we decided not to move…at least for now…and to remain in New York City. I will talk in my next blog about how we came to that decision…and how we put the three “Rules of the Road” outlined above to work. I hope and pray it will be helpful.

Praying for you and your family!!